An example of poor sales copy.
My husband and I are going through the arduous process of searching for a summer holiday. The process that starts off exciting but quickly deteriorates into depressing as soon as you realise you are unable to tally your expectation with your budget.
Anyway, last week my husband emailed me a link to a hotel that he thought looked promising. I clicked on the link but didn’t get beyond the opening line of the introductory paragraph, which began: “Don’t let the minimalist design fool you..”
I know I can be difficult to please but this didn’t strike me as particularly good sales copy.
Firstly, they told me not to do something which is rarely persuasive. Secondly, they immediately drew my attention to something which some people may perceive as negative. I didn’t look any further to find out. I had already formed an opinion of the hotel which didn’t sit with what I was looking for. We’re not seeking ‘luxurious’ but nor are we looking for ‘basic’ which is what I took from the opening description.
So, if you are writing sales copy for your business what can you take from this?
[icon type=”star” color=”#26a29a” size=”16px”] Don’t use ‘don’t’ – it makes people feel like they’re being told off by a parent.
[icon type=”star” color=”#26a29a” size=”16px”] If there are negative points to be highlighted, don’t focus on them in the opener and try to turn them into a positive.
In hindsight I don’t think that the minimalist design of that particular hotel is a negative. I just perceived it to be such based on the way it was presented to me.
[icon type=”star” color=”#26a29a” size=”16px”] I am difficult to please.
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