Marketing email critique

The following marketing email was sent to me recently. I receive several cold emails a week, as I’m sure you do too, and very few ever stand out as being good examples. This one was no exception.

I thought I’d share my critique of this particular email to illustrate why it went straight to trash.

Subject: Vehicle Finance


I wanted to get some help circulating my contact details and info around the staff within Straight Marketing Limited. I am hoping it might be useful. 

I work over at XXXX and we provide vehicle finance but only for vehicles over £50,000 in value but any vehicle with a value upwards of that. Because we focus and specialise in this end of the market our rates tend to be advantageous and more importantly flexible than the more generic lenders. 

Due to the minimum value, it might only be Directors and senior managers vehicles that could benefit from this service so please let them know too. Providing the minimum value of the vehicle is £50,000 or above we should be able to make a proposal which would reflect lower monthly costs than other providers. 

If you know anyone else who might benefit from this then please let them have my contact details too. 

I appreciate your help with this. 

Kind Regards

So, here is my feedback on the email.

  • The subject line is boring and gives no real indication of what the email is about.
  • The sender jumps straight in with what he wants rather than show an understanding of what I might want.
  • The offer is totally irrelevant to me, some quick research would have identified that.
  • The email is poorly written with grammatical errors.
  • There’s no call to action other than to pass on his contact details.

Just because you can easily buy an email mailing list and send bland, untargeted emails it doesn’t mean that you should. The principles of marketing apply to email marketing as they do with all other marketing tactics. Understand your target audience and only send them relevant and targeted communications.

Oh, and if your copywriting and grammar isn’t good, check out Grammarly.

Image credit: Pixabay